Family roles at work- and in Detroit

December 4, 2008 · Filed Under Uncategorized · Comment

The New York Times today has a piece on how often we renact our role in our family of origin at work.

Tag Creative, the company profiled in the piece, hired psychologists to help through a staff increase, because the women in charge seem to know that what’s true at home is usually true at work. Two of the women are oldest children, and one is the second of five. How do you think that plays out?

“I sometimes have to tell myself, she is not your mother, she’s your partner,” said Amy Frankel, 53, the chief strategy officer, referring to her two co-owners.

And being women in their fifties, one can easily imagine the women being “mother hens,” something we would never expect of a male owner of a similar age:

“One longtime company employee, Matthew Aldrich, who is the youngest of three brothers, feels very “taken care of” by the three partners, whom he calls “the ladies.” “They look after me like a son,” he said, adding that sometimes he even feels spoiled, reminding him somewhat of life in his family. “’It’s a nurturing role.’”

I first came across exploring leadership through the family of origin when I encountered the work of Dr. Marjorie Blum, whose self-defined leadership work uses genograms to examine how our family of origin determines our leadership style and behavior at work. This exploration crosscuts with the narrative storytelling we love to devour about our leaders. I always think of the Clintons when I think of family narratives, family roles, and eventual leadership styles. Are there specific characteristics in the family of origin that breed typical American leaders?

I wonder about the Big Three CEOs and their family roles. I wonder how these guys got where they are today. They exhibit no leadership skills whatsoever- “look mom, I can drive a hybrid”! From the lockstep of their drives to DC to their lame repeat performances in Congress, they have yet to exhibit any innovation or self-reliance to the casual observer like myself. To this point, Michael Moore’s column in the Huffington Post on how to save Detroit is a must-read.

These guys really seem to need approval more than anything else. Approval of Congress, approval of the American people, of the media. UAW leaders, by contrast, come off as more innovative and leaderly than the CEO’s. And what’s interesting- Gettelfinger, head of the UAW, is getting more buzz than Rick Waggoner, CEO of GM, and Bob Nardelli, CEO of Chrysler. What does that tell us?

And yet, the CEOs have prostrated themselves enough. It’s unfair that the financial sector got whatever it wanted, and Detroit gets raked over the coals in a public shame show. But perhaps the PR departments in Detroit should have hired three actor white guys to play more impressive leaders before showing up in Washington.

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Anorexic child-women become femmes fatales

December 1, 2008 · Filed Under Uncategorized · Comment

Just what a nine month pregnant woman on bed rest wants to see!

Models in New York before and after makeup and hair sessions for the runway….scary stuff.

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Who says being First Lady isn’t working?

November 24, 2008 · Filed Under Uncategorized · Comment

Today’s New York Times quotes former British first lady Cherie Blair (whose juicy tell-all I cannot wait to read):

“It is something of an irony that in these days of pushing for equality those of us married to our political leaders have to put their own ambitions on hold while their spouses are in office and keep their views to themselves,” Mrs. Blair continued. “I, at least, had my career. That is not an option for Michelle Obama.”

All the debate about whether Michelle Obama is giving up her career to become “First Mom” really misses the point. First, what about being First Lady is not “work”? I doubt any First Lady sleeps in and relaxes much (although I was wistfully stunned to read that FDR awoke each day at 8:00 am, can you imagine?). How is being one of the most visible and influential Americans on the planet not “work”? Why was her time at U Chicago Hospital more important than being first lady of the US? Because she’s not earning her own paycheck as First Lady? That is temporary, and she is indeed doing important work right now.

From the Times piece, “‘I miss my colleagues, I miss my work, I enjoyed what I was doing,’” Mrs. Obama said on CNN in February. “’But this is really pretty significant. My view of career is that I can always have whatever career I want. That’s why I, I don’t question that I can go back to that job or go back to something else interesting.’”

Second, what I love about Michelle Obama’s approach is her dual-centrism: work and family life are important to her. If we stop framing her choices for her and start taking cues from her behavior, maybe more Americans will be less stressed over whether they’re “working” enough and start thinking differently about priorities. Work can be many things, and if you don’t need the paycheck for a while, or you’re making a pretty strong investment in your future (as Obama certainly is) why not shift gears for a bit? Why not emphasize your role as mother for a bit, if you can? Lord knows, every day I’m told “It’s the most important work you could ever do.”

Are we really so rigid and stuck, both as feminists and as Americans?

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Turns out, my husband doesn’t care about names

November 23, 2008 · Filed Under Uncategorized · Comment

I wrote this piece on the Huffington Post about my struggle with my hyphenated, post-marriage last name. I always assumed my husband had strong feelings about the name thing. Turns out, when he said he didn’t mind, he meant it.

A name is forever, once it’s been indexed in Google. There’s been much buzz about how to juice your Google presence by making your name more unusual, but what is a woman to do when she gets married? A quest for search engine optimization tips about how to preserve your Google rankings when you change your name came up short, so I’m open to suggestions. It’s a feminist 2.0 dilemma.

I’m reduced, like my friend Hillary, to confusion at introductions. Hillary said,

“I have that moment when I introduce myself and literally pause. So I’ve become just Hillary– a Madonna like thing.”

Oh, we cackled over that one. I feel exactly the same way. I’m constantly emphasizing my first name and garbling, or even omitting my last name upon introduction, as if I were introducing myself to a five year old instead of a business associate.

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Yeah! What she said…

November 14, 2008 · Filed Under Uncategorized · Comment

Allyson Kapin has a heroic piece today on the Huffington Post:

More and more women are starting their own companies (including tech and web 2.0 ventures). Women make up at least 50% of the Web 2.0 market from a user and consumer perspective. According to TechCrunch, 60% of US Facebook users are women. And 61% of Open Social users are women according to Rapleaf. In major cities like DC and Philadelphia women account for approximately 30% of the IT workforce, cites the US Census Bureau.

Just last week Tech Evangelist Robert Scobel wrote a column about his favorite tech experts on Friend Feed. He featured everyone from Michael Arrington founder of TechCrunch to Steve Rubel, Director of Insights for Edelman Digital. Great choices, but sadly not a single woman made Scobel’s list.

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